Last week we set out on a journey to loving ourselves through self-care. We learned how to be selfish to be selfless.

There are a few things that conflict with our ability to love ourselves deeply and truly. But the most potent adversary to self-love is a very simple one.

Fear.

Fear and self-love are locked in an eternal conflict. They are almost opposites. Fear is what stops you from grabbing onto all of the things that nourish and enrich your life. Fear is what tells us we aren’t deserving enough to take our destinies into our hands. And fear is the first thing we are going to let go on our journey to self-love.

Before becoming a coach, I worked as a paralegal for the Securities and Exchange Commission. It was a cushy job, and it was a powerful job. But it was also a job that I continually told myself I didn’t deserve.

“I’m not qualified,” I would tell myself. Even though staring right at my resume, I could see that was not true. All the qualifications were right there. But fear would not let me see them.

When I was 16, my mother would push and push and push for me to get a job. Life was hard for my family. We needed as many incomes as we could to survive. There was no place for fear.

I walked into every interview utterly confident that I was going to walk out with that job. And I did.

I think it’s because life hadn’t worn me down yet. I hadn’t gone through decades of hearing “no, you’re asking too much.” The fear hadn’t incubated yet.

Fear is a disease, a very contagious and quick spreading one. When we surround ourselves with those who themselves are governed by fear, the virus finds a new host. It spreads to our system, and it eats up all our self-love and self-worth so that it can grow and grow and grow. Before you know it, all that’s left is fear.

But the antidote is so simple. It just takes some time to see. The one thing fear hates the most is openness and vulnerability. When fear is faced with a genuinely open heart, it shrieks into the shadows. It has nothing to latch on to. Its host has been destroyed.

What if you took a chance on that job? What if you said what you really felt to your loved one? What if you were truly open to change?

When we look at these questions with positivity and potential, there is no longer any room for the fear virus. We’ve been told so many times in our lives to be vulnerable is to be weak. But that’s a load of junk. The opposite is true. To be vulnerable is to be strong. To be vulnerable is to banish fear from your life. And it’s critical to your journey to self-love.

So try it this week. How can you be more vulnerable, how can you be more open? Just ask that simple question and see what happens to the fear. Will the world end if you I take this little step towards my future? You know the answer is no.

So take the step and say goodbye to fear.

I’ll see you guys next time.

Remember- love yourself, and you can love the world.

-Trés